I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
