insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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