He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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