Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
