so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
