How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There r osticjed everywhere
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
