I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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