Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
