You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
