Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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