I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Say something about gay babies.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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