i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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