So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
