I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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