I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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