Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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