I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
