actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
