He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
