I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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