:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
