Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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