If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
