I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
