Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
