im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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