I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm both gender and math confused
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
