once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize