he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
