Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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