Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
