I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
