You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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