oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
