everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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