hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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