And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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