i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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