You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thus making me awesome and them whores
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
