It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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