The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize