I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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