walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
