This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
