Jerry, you need to find god
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
