i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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