Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
