I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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