Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
