another moral hangover. fuck.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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